The Journey of Her Forgetfulness

I am pretty excited and anxious counting down the final days to delivery…. i am totally clueless as any new mom to be are. I can’t & don’t even wish to imagine the labour pain. However i must say my many many million thnaks to hubby dearest who have been there (tho not all the time heheh) for me thru out this whole process especiall now, when i suddenly have the excruciating pain regardless of time and place. Sorry to wake u up in the middle of the night with my sudden screams of "owwww!!!!". but i would really appreciate it if you could massage my back more often… heheh it helps ya know.

From 38 kg now, 8 1/2 months, i weigh 50kg…. luckily its all my baby and the inside stuffs, i am lucky and glad to Allah that i did not grow side ways and my tummy not tt big and i did not have any water retention or gestational diabetes… Alhamdullilah…. only the pains and contractions tt’s all…. other than that i am very much healthy. been eating lots of food and trice the servings i would b4 my pregnancy.

I have been spending my leave at home not willing to leave the house without any bodyguards. my days are boring and really routine… mostly are spend watching tv and reading books to little boy. i really look forward to weekends & hubby’s day off when we can spend time together watching tv again at least i have someone to watch it with me… hahahha

yest was a well spend sunday with mom and sis farisah. went shopping, lunch at wdlands banquet (the food are delicious) i ate a plate of carrot cake (delicious) & cockels kway teow (yummy)… so full and mom, she is speechless when i came with two plates of food! we then took some lovely neo prints and really had a great laugh at how the pixs turns out to be…. my mom is such a sport and i love her so much….

hopefully i will be a great mom to my lil baby too…. i really can’t wait to see his face and to be able to hold his tiny body…. i love u son!

Nope i have not delivered yet - Thank goodness coz at tt time i was 33+1day weeks. Been having the cramps & excruciating pain on thurs night and after asking some friends what should i do, i decided to wait for hubby to come back fm work. he reached home at 1+am and i was ready to go hosp but at the last min i decided tt since the pain has lessen i shld jt wait till morning since i have an appt with dr juliana abu. i managed to sleep tho i kept on waking up to go to the toilet every 2 hrs. it’s getting much harder waking up fm the bed now. with all the cramps and pains i am so upset….

after being examined by dr juliana, she adviced me to be admitted to the labour ward for threatened pre term labour…. omg! the word labour itself send chills down my spine. i asked myself ‘is this THE DAY?’ hopefully baby can wait few more weeks. as i was wheeled into the suite, i felt like crying infact my eyes was starting to well up. i remembered the time i lied on the delivery bed it was 1140hrs. after the nurses put the ctg thingy on my belly, the routine check takes place. blood test, urine test, questions by the dr bla bla bla,…. i told them i am allergic to certain drugs and i am a thalassemia minor infact the nurses was surprised tt i informed her the important ‘thing’. well, i am a nurse myself. hahah but i didnt tell her that till she found out herself. i was in the labour ward till 4+pm and reached the ward jt on time to watch holland v…. the medications that they gave me really helped with the contractions. both hubby & me kept on talking to baby not to come out early & be patient…. but i must say i felt impatient to hold my baby in my arms when i heard other patient’s babies crying and the joy the mothers felt holding their baobei in their arms…. well, its a matter of weeks fm now. i am very nervous.

i am afraid of the labour pain. after gng thru the agony & pains last thurs, i am sure labour pain will be 1000 times painful…. i will try to avoid epidural coz the idea of a needle inserted thru my spine doen not sound too good for me. i am afraid of needles…. but shall see how…. its been 1+ mth since i last work and all i did was stay at home, sleep, cook, eat, watch cabel & read books. i memorised my fav shows timing now and even the channel in jt a few days. heheh tt’s what boredoom did to u. now i am reaching 34 weeks (tt’s tommorow) and after this mark its considered ’safe’. after the delivery scare, i have washed all baby clothes that needs to be brought over to mom’s place. i do not want my son to wear unwashed clothes…. it’s such an interesting and wonderful journey rt now with all the blunders and silly mistakes we made thru this 8 mths. but we all learn fm mistakes don’t we?

I have to admit i am not having a great day today - at ALL! Let me say abt yest first… bought a new hp N70i act was thinking of N80 but i dont like the size and the design of the fon and i really cant part with another 5-600 bucks for another hp after buying 3230 last year tho’ it was hubby’s $$. i need a new fon coz 3230 have been giving me probs my contacts been gng MIA & i am pretty sure ppl are fed up with me asking who is this to their smses. but, i don’t have the heart to trade it in so i decided to keep it.

went to dad’s hse to visit lil sis ayu who is sick she is shivering and having pain on both knees and whole body felt numb. i stayed over and talked with dad n step mom till 2+ in the morning….

today out of the blue i felt sick! i tot i am having a reflux coz i could feel the gastric juices in my throat and after lunch i felt a lump in my throat not long later, as we were watching poseidon, i vomitted and i vomitted thruout the movie as tho i was physically on the ship… hahahah vomitted more than 10 times. such a waste of food and all the vegies are gone! after the ordeal, i cud still feel ’something’ stuck at my throat it’s very irritating ya know…. so i lied in bed and with the contractions i am having i am really fed up when someone knocks on my door coz i need time to sit up and walk to the door… i walked like a penguin…. ehhehe & something happened today tt made me feel really upset and pissed… but forget abt it. no point in crying over spilled milk. but i am still angry now….

Didn’t realise how fast time flies…. last year events on this day is all forgotten. One thing i know for sure i am still on attachment and enjoying myself with my buddies…. miss those days. This year, I am counting on the days when i will finally be a mommy! The long wait will end soon, and I am sure to miss this whole pregnancy cycle. The weekly countdowns, the 2 weekly Dr visits, the pains, the weekly injections that was given by hubby - its damn painful and best of all, being able to feel the little boy in me moving & kicking his ass off… hahah. Baby kicks are very strong and caused me lots of pain & many sleepless nights but I won’t scold him, I leave it to hubby. Everytime baby hurts me and i would go "ouch!!" or whine, hubby will rub my belly and tell baby "baby, don’t kick mommy so hard u are hurting her" or "be a good boy k & don’t hurt ur mom" hehehhe so touching knowing that he cares abt me. And little boy will stop his kicking and turning. He’s such a clever boy. We will talk to baby and every night & each time hubby comes back or going off to work he will talk to his baby. But i won’t allow him to do so if baby had jt stopped kicking coz once hubby put his hands on my belly, baby will start to respond - it happens all the time. and the one who ’suffers’ is me…. i am wishing i can prolong this pregnancy. to be able to feel my lil miracle baby kicking and turning furiously tho its hurting me, i don’t mind all that….. coz i love him soooooo much! muuuaakkkzzzzzz