The Journey of Her Forgetfulness

my peaceful night duty was disturbed by the sudden excruciating pain i had. prior to that, on the early morning of 7/5 i had 8-10 episodes of vomiting at work fm 3.30am till i finished work. luckily i am still able to carry out my duties tho i have to rest in betweens parameters taking. was feeling giddy and nauseated. on the same day at 2330hrs i had a sudden sharp pain on my abdomen and it was so painful that i cried infront of gjan and dr roger. it was so embarrassing. after resting and a jab, the pain seems to have subsided and i was laughing and apologising and complaining abt how embarrassed i was to have cried in front of them and i had a laugh but my happiness was short lived. by 3.15am the pain started again and now it radiates to the back it was as if i was in labour. i cried again and by now i cant hold on to it any longer and was wheeled to emergency department which was jt a few levels below.. ahaha…

it was very very embarrassing. a nurse in scrubs (uniform) was pushed on the wheelchair to emergency and then put on a trolley… paiseh to the max. if i wasnt in such pain i would have at least changed first. at least they wont recognise me… hehehee i was given morphine and i was on cloud nine immediately. it feels shiok to be pain free… but by 5plus the pain started again and the dr reviewed me 2 hrs later and gave me another dose of buscopan n morphine… boy he was really trying to numb me. everything went blur and double vision…. my head was heavy but the pain was relieved which was a gd thing. another hr or 2 passed and came another pretty sweet dr who told me i needed to be warded. so i was warded to GS ward. very disappointing. B1 but it was like a c class ward. our EDTC was much more peaceful, clean and better. that’s why wen i know my prob was gynae i wanna go back home at 6+pm. anyway i missed my baby. i need to see, feel and smell him… now, the pain have subsided but not fully but i can take it. and am very happy to be home with my baby…..

p/s nunu, love u and miss u lots dear.

Time passes by really quickly. Sis ayu is finally married and omg, the cost for the food itself is $11,000.00 not inclusive of the decorations, chairs & tables and make up and etc… poor dad. but i guess its ok lah coz during my wedding he didnt fork out anything so, might as well spend it on my sis….. i am feeling bittersweet rt now. my dear sis already gets a HOUSE!!! yup i am happy for her but at the same time i am feeling fed up and tired of waiting for my turn to get my own house. its been 4 years now and i am still waiting. should be able to move out soon, now with baby aqiel and my maid there is no space to stay comfortably and not forgetting my limited space for our things. my clothes is piled till the top of my wardrobe. there is no space available anymore. but i am happy for her. she can start a family soon now mom told me she and fendi went down to pay the $2000.00 deposit at hdb and will be waiting for the keys anytime soon. btw they will be moving out to bukit panjang. tt’s far away fm dad. i am wondering how he will react when my sis moves out. for me, i like woodlands coz its nearer to my work place but we might decide to move back to the east. somewhere simei or pasir ris. nearer to hubby’s work but far fm mine but, near to my dad’s and bro. arrgghhh no point in thinking abt it now when i cant even move out yet!

rt now, my dear little pumpkin aqiel is ill. while in krabi he’s been havin disturbed sleep however he was well during the day. last fri i realised he had a temperature. when we decided to bring him to the dr on sat, she diagnosed him as hfmd. my heart sank and i was sad for him. he’s too young to be ill or suffer fm any infection. he was looking better and the fever have subsided but yest, more spots comes out fm. not only on his hands and legs but also on his head, forehead and cheeks. we applied calamine lotion for him and my baby looks like a spotted bear. he looks so cute yet pitiful. he was so cranky and everytime he saw me, he will open his arms wide and wants me to carry him. i kept on telling my maid to be patient with him cnd try to understand tt he is sick and we need to make him happy and as comfortable as possible. luckily she understands. as i was leaving for work today, amaley was making lots of noise and wants to be carried so i carried him and when its time for me to leave, he wont let me let go of him. it hurts me to see my baby crying and to see him with red dots cover with white calamine lotions definitely doesnt help at all. i called mom and told her. i cried in the train to work today. i assured myself tt baby is in good hands and he will be taken care of.

besides mom, my colleague gjan and other friends of mine whom are nurses also told me to bring him to the hospital asap. coz it might be a wrong diagnosis. it doesnt look like hfmd coz it appears on his head as well. maybe its chicken pox but when i had tt its not like how it appears on his skin now. anyway hubby and me will bring baby to the hospital tomorrow morning once i finish my night shift. hopefully they will know what’s wrong with him. i m not only physically but mentally tired as well. i cant focus and kept on thinking if amaley is alright. i hope he will recover soon… Insya Allah.

p/s amaley darling.. mummy loves u, LOTS.mmmuuaakkkzzzz